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Post by coxy134 on Aug 9, 2012 6:01:52 GMT
Ok dads need some advice.
I bought my baggie lad a mountain bike last xmas (only a second hand one but in good nick) come march time he wanted a BMX. Again i got him a very good second hand one, top spec cost me £80 but didnt mind because he had recieved an excellent report from school i also put him 2 coloured tyres on he wanted.
When i got home from work yesterday one of my lads (the baggie one) was asking his brother to get him some tools.
Both Mrs C and myself asked him why he wanted tools. He ignored us.
I guessed he was messing with his bike and i told him to leave it alone and if it needed fixing i would help him and remeinded him he doesnt go in my tools box without permission.
When i came back last night i found a part of his brakes on the floor, he had helped himself to my tools removed all his brakes and hidden them.
So how or does he deserve being punished?
My plan is to take his bike off him for a few days so he will learn to look after his things and also to teach him not to do things he shouldnt behind my back especially when i asked him what he was upto. Buying that bike skint me out then he basically wrecks it. Mrs C disagrees telling me he will be bored without his bike.
Or should i simply give him a pat on the back and say never mind son!
Advice greatly appreciated!
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SausEggSarnie
AH! AH! AH!
I wouldn't eat that - if you bought it me!
Posts: 3,853
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Post by SausEggSarnie on Aug 9, 2012 6:26:38 GMT
(not a dad)
By him a wolves season ticket as punishment.
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Post by Paulie Walnuts on Aug 9, 2012 6:38:16 GMT
Find the steepest hill you can, put your Dingle son on the bike and give him a push down it, make your Baggie son watch and he will learn the value of having brakes ;D
But seriously, make him put the fuggers back on the bike at least and if he can't then make him pay to have them fitted back on, through pocket money or whatever he does for cash. If he kicks off then take the bike off him.
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z
Board Ponner
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Post by z on Aug 9, 2012 6:39:09 GMT
He needs to learn that he cannot just do what he wants against the reasonable requests and guidelines of his parents. The younger children learn this the more respectful they are. They also need to learn the value of things. Take the bike to halfords, get it repaired and then dock his pocket money the cost of the repair. He'll be without his bike whilst it's'being repaired, you'll be in the good books with his mum and he will see a cause and effect to his acrions. Also lock your tool box. If you've already fixed the bike yourself then you must take it off him for a couple of days.
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z
Board Ponner
Posts: 100
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Post by z on Aug 9, 2012 6:40:37 GMT
Oh mr walnuts i was typing that whilst you posted.
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Post by Fulham Fallout on Aug 9, 2012 6:41:19 GMT
As a Dad myself I would say
1. You knew he wanted tools and should have got it out of him why. You don't want him growing up not being freely able to talk to you about what is going on in his life.
2. You knew he wanted tools and yet did nothing to prevent him gaining free access to them.
3. I can only assume some of his friends don't have brakes on their bikes or he has seen magazines, tv, Internet with bikes without brakes and may be under peer pressure not to be a sissy having brakes.
So, firstly find out why he didn't want brakes. If peer pressure you have to teach him not to do what others do, today brakes, later in life drugs. Tell him why brakes are important for riding around streets
Fix the bike with your son and get him involved in putting it back together with you.
Tell him that you are upset he disobeyed what you had asked and explain why you didn't want him to use your tools.
Kids get bored in summer hols and inevitably do something they shouldn't as a consequence.
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Post by Paulie Walnuts on Aug 9, 2012 6:42:40 GMT
;D
I'm not a Dad so glad to see that I could cut the mustard
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Post by Fulham Fallout on Aug 9, 2012 6:47:33 GMT
Or dad should simply fix the bike, so drop it round Hugh's house ;D
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SausEggSarnie
AH! AH! AH!
I wouldn't eat that - if you bought it me!
Posts: 3,853
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Post by SausEggSarnie on Aug 9, 2012 6:55:38 GMT
;D I'm not a Dad so glad to see that I could cut the mustard So as a fellow none-dad, buying his son a wolves season ticket is not the best punishment?
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Post by coxy134 on Aug 9, 2012 6:58:08 GMT
As a Dad myself I would say 1. You knew he wanted tools and should have got it out of him why. You don't want him growing up not being freely able to talk to you about what is going on in his life. 2. You knew he wanted tools and yet did nothing to prevent him gaining free access to them. 3. I can only assume some of his friends don't have brakes on their bikes or he has seen magazines, tv, Internet with bikes without brakes and may be under peer pressure not to be a sissy having brakes. So, firstly find out why he didn't want brakes. If peer pressure you have to teach him not to do what others do, today brakes, later in life drugs. Tell him why brakes are important for riding around streets Fix the bike with your son and get him involved in putting it back together with you. Tell him that you are upset he disobeyed what you had asked and explain why you didn't want him to use your tools. Kids get bored in summer hols and inevitably do something they shouldn't as a consequence. Think your spot on there mate, had a good think about it after i wrote the thread come to most of those conclusions. I do normally lock the shed but have got the point i "trust" they wont go in there. Problem is he has lost some parts, but he will lose pocket money this week to replace them and i will get him involved in fitting the parts back together to at least understand if you take something apart you keep it in order so you can put it back together. The free talking advice is also something i need to look at myself for, thanx for advice... I will give the dogead a slap just in case..
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Post by Paulie Walnuts on Aug 9, 2012 7:04:04 GMT
;D I'm not a Dad so glad to see that I could cut the mustard So as a fellow none-dad, buying his son a wolves season ticket is not the best punishment? Save that for the final warning
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SausEggSarnie
AH! AH! AH!
I wouldn't eat that - if you bought it me!
Posts: 3,853
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Post by SausEggSarnie on Aug 9, 2012 7:07:24 GMT
So as a fellow none-dad, buying his son a wolves season ticket is not the best punishment? Save that for the final warning Or when his son comes home and tells him he's got Poppy down the road pregnant? ;D
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Post by chinawhite on Aug 9, 2012 7:10:29 GMT
I would help him fix the bike and then not him use it for the day as punishment. I know your mrs will kop it in the neck but that's how it goes. Your dingle son needs to feel the wrath aswell so just lock his dirty mags away.
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Post by coxy134 on Aug 9, 2012 7:27:04 GMT
I would help him fix the bike and then not him use it for the day as punishment. I know your mrs will kop it in the neck but that's how it goes. Your dingle son needs to feel the wrath aswell so just lock his dirty mags away. Might give the dingle a smack with the lead pipe under the bed, after all he should have warned his brother. Always the dingles fault..
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Post by ij21 on Aug 9, 2012 8:05:37 GMT
He couldn’t put it back together, so ashamedly he hid them. It’s what learning is all about! Do you know something rather brilliant……………………? Not all bad behaviour needs to have negative attention drawn to it. The kid is clearly fascinated by the way things work. Fix the bike. Find some old bikes and other machines eg old VHS recorders etc. sort him out some appropriate tools, supervise him whilst he takes things apart and finds out about them; buy him some wood scraps and some nails etc. Teach him about being safe until you can leave him by himself. He will learn to respect your wishes, develop language skills, develop technical knowledge and how to respect tools and equipment and behave in a responsible way. It is a process though………………….. What an opportunity for a father and son!
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Post by Z is for Stripey Oss on Aug 9, 2012 8:06:37 GMT
If it is the BMX bike you are on about then they have no brakes anyway, so I can understand why he wanted them removed....I could not understand this either, until I did a bit of research into this and found that the BMXers down the local ramps ride with no brakes.
However I can see your point about taking tools that he should not have taken....
For me it is all about getting your point across by doing something that has as much effect on them....knowing which buttons to press essentially.
Is there something that he is going to (party, mate's house) that you could say he is not going to now....you can explain that by doing something he was not supposed to do, he will suffer now by you not allowing him to do something that he wants to do.
It doesn't have to be much, but as long as you can make him see that HIS actions have cost HIM the chance of doing something that he really wanted to, this should get the message across.
As for the brakes, if he insists on riding with no brakes, seek a compromise and fit only the back brake...I am sure it is illegal to ride with no brakes whatsoever...watch a bit of extreme sports on Sky with him and check out the BMX riders on the ramps...enforce the role model thing with him
Oss
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Post by baggienick on Aug 9, 2012 8:10:36 GMT
A bollocking. Help him fix it. No real issue; life's too short.
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Bibbel
Message Board Tourettes
Posts: 6,231
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Post by Bibbel on Aug 9, 2012 8:26:29 GMT
Find out why he took the brakes off, as Fulham says.
Make him repair the bike with you.
When satisfied that the job has been done as pr your spec, exclusively use the bike as your pub transport for a week.
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Post by coxy134 on Aug 9, 2012 10:21:29 GMT
He couldn’t put it back together, so ashamedly he hid them. It’s what learning is all about! Do you know something rather brilliant……………………? Not all bad behaviour needs to have negative attention drawn to it. The kid is clearly fascinated by the way things work. Fix the bike. Find some old bikes and other machines eg old VHS recorders etc. sort him out some appropriate tools, supervise him whilst he takes things apart and finds out about them; buy him some wood scraps and some nails etc. Teach him about being safe until you can leave him by himself. He will learn to respect your wishes, develop language skills, develop technical knowledge and how to respect tools and equipment and behave in a responsible way. It is a process though………………….. What an opportunity for a father and son! To be fair he did put tools back... he has learnt what he borrows he returns. My big worry was he did it behind my back, worrying because he may feel he cant approach me but more likely he thought "i will do it, and dad wont notice". He just sent me a text apologising and asking me if i had thrown his bike away! My problem is Mrs C will always always give in to him and always takes his side. I have promised him we will fix it tonight after his footy training and if all the parts are there put it back together, At the weekend I will then explain to him removing brakes for a bike he uses on the road is dangerous and give him the choice of removing them but this time put all the parts in a box for safe keeping if her chooses to remove them.
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Post by chinawhite on Aug 9, 2012 10:29:39 GMT
well done coxy a bit of father and son time will do the trick and explain why your upset while you are doing it . there does have to be concequences though . i was too easy on my son and it does make life difficult in the long run . nip it in the bud now and tell him the ground rules . if he doesnt agree ask him what he feels is unfair if that fails make him wear his dingle brother wolves shirt out
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Post by Fulham Fallout on Aug 9, 2012 10:33:30 GMT
He couldn’t put it back together, so ashamedly he hid them. It’s what learning is all about! Do you know something rather brilliant……………………? Not all bad behaviour needs to have negative attention drawn to it. The kid is clearly fascinated by the way things work. Fix the bike. Find some old bikes and other machines eg old VHS recorders etc. sort him out some appropriate tools, supervise him whilst he takes things apart and finds out about them; buy him some wood scraps and some nails etc. Teach him about being safe until you can leave him by himself. He will learn to respect your wishes, develop language skills, develop technical knowledge and how to respect tools and equipment and behave in a responsible way. It is a process though………………….. What an opportunity for a father and son! To be fair he did put tools back... he has learnt what he borrows he returns. My big worry was he did it behind my back, worrying because he may feel he cant approach me but more likely he thought "i will do it, and dad wont notice". He just sent me a text apologising and asking me if i had thrown his bike away! My problem is Mrs C will always always give in to him and always takes his side. I have promised him we will fix it tonight after his footy training and if all the parts are there put it back together, At the weekend I will then explain to him removing brakes for a bike he uses on the road is dangerous and give him the choice of removing them but this time put all the parts in a box for safe keeping if her chooses to remove them. I'd agree with all of that, except for giving him the option of not having brakes. If he has an accident as a result you'd never be able to live with yourself. Explain to him it is illegal to be out without brakes "Pedal Cycle Construction and Use Regulations 1983, says you need two brakes: one on the rear wheel and one on the front. A fixed wheel counts as a rear brake, but you still need a calliper on the front."
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Post by HawkingsHalfpipe on Aug 9, 2012 18:02:30 GMT
Superglue on the pedals. That'll learn him.
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